How to stay productive when you feel “off”...

Embracing imperfection on our “off” days, resources for recovering perfectionists, and other non-chaotic bits

This morning. I woke up feeling a bit “off”. Just downright tired, and I didn’t know why. Instinctively, I gravitated toward the box of cookies on the counter, thinking, “Maybe a small bite of sugar will give me the energy bump I need,” and I took a bite.

Suffice it to say, eating the cookie didn’t make me feel better. My offness was still “off”. And now I’d demolished all the gluten-free progress I’d made over the last few weeks, by eating one bite of an absolutely not gluten-free cookie first thing in the morning. I might as well throw in the towel and call this day “ruined”.

If you’re a perfectionist like me, I’m sure you’ve had days like this. Your routine gets disrupted, or you make a small mistake early in the day. Suddenly, the perfectionist voice in your head declares the entire day a write-off. We say to ourselves, "I've already messed up, so why bother trying?" or “I don’t feel 100% with it today. Will I be able to accomplish anything today?”. This all-or-nothing thinking is a hallmark of perfectionism, and it can seriously derail our productivity and well-being.

Understanding Perfectionism

Contrary to popular belief, perfectionism isn't the same as having high standards. Having high standards is about a healthy strive for excellence. Perfectionism is about unrealistic expectations and harsh self-criticism. Psychologist Thomas S. Greenspon describes perfectionism as "a self-esteem issue arising from emotional convictions about what one must do to be acceptable as a person". As perfectionists, we feel a need and requirement to be “perfect”. Ultimately, perfectionists feel defected, as if there’s something about us that needs to be repaired. It’s this deficit thinking that can lead us to crumble or abandon our goals at the first sign of imperfection.

Breaking the Cycle

While I will dive into the cultural and emotional underpinnings of perfectionism in later posts, today I want to focus specifically on the perfectionism we face on days when, from the second we wake up, we feel less than our best: we wake up feeling slightly under the weather, the F train skips a stop so we miss our 9:00 am meeting, we mistype an urgent client email and hit send before we’ve even left our bed.

According to research conducted by London School of Economics psychologist Thomas Curran, perfectionists are very sensitive to this type of setback - those that occur all the time and are, in the grand scheme, minor. This is because it fractures the idea of who we think we should be and who we want to be. The frequency of these setbacks make us extra careful about what situations we put ourselves in and more inclined to want to throw in the towel when things go awry.

However, we can take steps to lessen this type of black-and-white thinking. We cannot go pale in the face of every setback life throws at us, or else we wouldn't make any progress. The more consciously we practice strategies to disempower perfectionism, the more we'll retrain our brain to recognize the big impact small successes can have, even when we don't feel our best.

The biggest flex you can give yourself is to wake up after a bleh day and reflect on all the things you still managed to accomplish.

Here are some practical strategies you can incorporate on your “off” days to challenge your perfectionist mindset and stay productive:

1. Revamp Your To-do List

   • Reorder tasks, focusing only on what's essential for today.

   • Break down these essential tasks into smaller, manageable steps.

   • Continuously remind yourself: Any progress I can make today is the goal.

2. Create a "Good Enough" List

   • Define what "good enough" looks like for various tasks.

   • Completing tasks to the “good enough” standard you’ve set for yourself can help you avoid getting stuck in perfectionist paralysis.

3. Practice the "Two-Minute Rule"

   • If a task takes less than two minutes, do it immediately.

   • Quick wins build momentum on difficult days.

4. Digital Detox

   • On off days, it’s easy to endlessly scroll our phones or fall into internet rabbit holes.

   • Put your phone in a drawer and turn on Do Not Disturb.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

   • Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend. Research shows that self-compassion can reduce anxiety and increase overall life satisfaction.

     • Eat a Hershey’s kiss every time you complete a task. This one’s optional, but it works! lol

     • Practice “radical acceptance”. Accepting your current situation without resistance frees up energy to cope effectively and practice self-care.

6. Take Regular Breaks and Practice Mindfulness

   • Every 60 to 90 minutes, take a short break from your work. You can go for a walk or make a quick phone call to a loved one.

   • At the end of a tough day, shift your focus. Avoid negative self-talk, and try engaging in a creative activity to help clear your mind.

7. Create a “Done List”

   • Instead of focusing solely on a to-do list, try keeping a "done list" to celebrate your daily accomplishments, no matter how small.

The Power of Small Wins

Remember, productivity isn't about being perfect. It's about making progress. Each small step forward, even on your worst days, is a victory. Anne Lamott famously wrote, "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life."

By letting go of perfectionism and embracing a more balanced approach, we can stay productive and maintain our well-being, even on those inevitable off days. After all, life isn't about being perfect – it's about being present, making progress, and growing along the way.

The next time you're tempted to throw in the towel because your day isn't going perfectly, remember: imperfect action beats perfect inaction every time.

Some quick facts on perfectionism:

• A 2022 study of 16 to 25-year-olds found that “85.4% of participants identified having perfectionist traits that were primarily focused on academic achievement … and experienced stress that affected their physical and mental health and well-being” and “around 25–30% of adolescents are negatively impacted by perfectionism” (Ox Journal Study)

• Perfectionists are more likely to have chronic pain (Institute for Chronic Pain)

• Rewarding yourself can help prevent burnout! And a lack thereof in the workplace can lead to burnout (NCBI Study, Sweden)

  • So yes, eating that little Hershey’s kiss after completing a task does come with real benefits :)

Podcasts/Other Resources on Perfectionism I’m loving:

• Perfectionism Might Be Hurting You. Here’s How to Change Your Relationship to Achievement - Harvard Summer School

• #403 How I Get Stuff Done When I Don’t Feel Like It - The Lazy Genius Podcast

• The Perfectionism Project - Sam Laura Brown’s Podcast

• Breaking up with Perfectionism - Adam Grant’s WorkLife Podcast

Other non-chaotic bits I’m loving this week:

• Site: Anthony Bourdain’s blog - Bourdain tells the story of “place” with honesty, wit, and fearlessness. His voice leaps right off the page.

• Some good news: America’s “First Car-Free Neighborhood” Is Going Pretty Good, Actually? - An experiment in walkable, community-focused living that may also help the planet.

• Recipe(s): Best Air Fryer recipes - For those nights when you’re in a time crunch, but also sick and tired of ordering carry-out.

• Quote: “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” - Erma Bombeck

See you next week!!

<3 Delaney