Andrew Tate never read the myth of Persephone, and it shows.
On Tate's disconcerting rise to power, and why Hades is a better model for healthier love.
A few months ago, I peered over the Substack best-seller list, and I saw 5 words I never thought I’d see: “Andrew Tate #2 Rising Star”.
What?
What?
Enough people support a sexual predator and misogynist that it has facilitated his rise to the top of a bestselling newsletter list? The same newsletter platform that hosts THIS newsletter?
I was dumbstruck. I thought I moved on with my life, but it’s been nagging at me in the back of my mind for some time.
This week, I saw the following news fill headlines, including this BBC report:
“Controversial influencer Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan have been arrested in the US after British authorities issued 38 new charges against the pair.
The UK’s Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said Andrew was being charged with seven further counts of rape, as well as charges relating to sex trafficking and indecent images of a child.
Tristan’s charges include two counts of rape and three counts of arranging or facilitating trafficking for sexual exploitation.
The total number of charges against the brothers is now 59, police said.”
I felt sickened. Both men were arrested in Miami on July 18, and both men have assured their devotees that they’ll walk free soon enough.
Many people hope they won’t.
Unfortunately, there are also many people who hope they will.
I want to be clear here (because precision matters when the charges are this serious) that these are charges and not yet convictions. The allegations against these men span many years and many more women, and they arrive on top of a UK prosecution that was already 21 counts deep before this week.
The kickboxer → reality star → toxic-manosphere-kingpin pipeline needs to be studied.
Please Google “Jake Paul” for example.
As you all know, I write about psychology and relationships for a living. I’ve spent a long time thinking about the factors and behavioral context behind Andrew Tate’s ascendance in popularity.
I’ve come to realize that Tate’s messaging has caught because of the way he packages his claims (however extreme they may be). Tate says, “You will have bigger biceps if you lift weights every day.” True enough! Tate says, “You will focus better if you eliminate distractions.” Also true. Then, Tate says, “You will be less of a man if you show any semblance of emotion, especially in your romantic relationships with women.” Also tru…wait… whatttt?
He lost me there.
But he might not have lost that impressionable fourteen-year-old boy, who, at that age, absorbs Tate’s toxic messaging like a sponge. Kids like these (Many of whom subscribe to Mr. Tate’s media) do not have the ability to discern between the good advice (Go to gym, eat healthy, have more self respect) and the bad messaging that it is wrapped up in (Women are the root of all your problems). Which means he’s also buying into Tate’s claim that feminism is to blame for male loneliness, and that the primary solution is to dominate women and never show them they’ve emotionally affected you.
Do you see the problem here?
By packaging his misogyny alongside otherwise quite generic motivational speak and discipline tips, Tate makes it seem like – in order to become the kind of man he’s selling, you’re required to buy into all of it, misogyny included.
It’s a tactic I’d like to call “moral bundling,” and it’s used by many marketers …. but many marketers morally bundle us enough to buy their protein powder, not enough to buy into their belief that men can never show emotion lest they become less manly.
Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and a vocal critic of the manosphere, sat across from 20 pro-manosphere guests on this week’s Jubilee debate. From what I gathered, Manson’s summary of the ecosystem went as follows: “The manosphere is a billion dollar business that profits off of keeping men angry and insecure.” Manson rejected the idea that feminism is the main driver of young men’s struggles, pointing instead to structural and economic shifts, tech-driven distraction, and a gap in male mentorship. He argued that healthy self-improvement content (fitness, discipline, self-care) gets bundled with domination and anti-feminist anger because extremity performs better online, which is close to my “bundling” idea from earlier.
During the debate, Manson arduously tried to get across his belief (a belief I share) that looks and “being an asshole” on the first date really only get a guy so far. Manson argued attraction isn’t a binary between “nice guy” and “bad boy,” citing research that women broadly value kindness and intelligence for the long term even when short-term attraction skews differently.
Side note: if you’re curious about the other false claims pro-manosphere figures make, I highly recommend watching the full debate. But prepare to grind your teeth the entire time, lol.
Tate has said, in various forms, that men are losing because of the rise of feminism. And that in order to gain their territory back, they need to be the most domineering versions of themselves possible. He basically says: those who show emotional openness will lose, and therefore they are not men.
Thanks to Christopher Nolan, and the marketing of his new film “The Odyssey” I have been thinking a lot about Greek mythology. These ancient tales can teach us a lot about modern problems…So now I want to take you all somewhere older than Substack, older than the manosphere…
The Primordial Myth of Persephone and Hades
May I interest you in a Greek mythology lesson, friends?!
Let’s travel back in time to approximately the 6th century B.C. Persephone, goddess of the spring, was the daughter of Zeus and Demeter and by most accounts, the most beautiful of the young goddesses. Aka, this girl had suitors… One of them was Ares, god of war, and one of the purest expressions of aggression the Greek pantheon ever produced. Where his sister Athena represented strategy and restraint, Ares represented sheer bloodlust. He courted Persephone through force, dominance, and spectacle.
Spoiler alert! This did not work out well for him.
To everyone’s surprise, Hades, ruler of the underworld, won Persephone’s heart. The way Hades is remembered by most people today, thanks largely to Disney, is as a scheming, fire haired villain who tricks and traps an innocent girl. That is certainly one interpretation, but does not really align with the ancient story. In fact, according to many ancient texts, the Greeks didn’t consider Hades evil. He was gloomy and widely feared for his (at the time) unusual expression of emotion, and he was rarely even depicted in classical art out of sheer reverence.
Hades wasn’t cruel, though. His job was to receive the dead once they’d already gone, a bureaucratic role more than a violent one.
When Hades wanted a wife, he went to his brother Zeus and asked. Zeus suggested his daughter, Persephone (it was a different time, folks). Together they concocted a ridiculous plan to take Persephone, against her mother’s wishes, to the underworld. Ok so yes, not the ideal start to a relationship, but what happens next is important.
According to the ancient myth, Hades fell for Persephone like wildfire. He loved the flowers she loved, and the garden she kept. He is one of the only major gods in the entire canon who is never once recorded being unfaithful. Persephone, over time, came to love Hades back, drawn to a man secure enough in himself to sit inside a “feminine” interest, like a garden full of flowers, without it threatening whatever he understood his own masculinity to be. This directly contrasts with the manosphere’s belief that women are most attracted to men who are assholes, a claim vehemently defended by the pro-manosphere figures in this week’s Jubilee circle!
For a deeper dive into the historical context of the early moments of Hades and Persephone’s relationship, Didi Aphra wrote a wonderful examination, quoted here:
In modern audiences’ eyes, Hades can be seen as evil, but he is not, since death is an inevitable part of nature. Interestingly, this is close to how the ancient Greeks viewed Hades. Modern iterations turn Hades and Persephone’s story into a loving and consensual one. One way we interpret it is through a coming-of-age lens where Persephone matures and becomes independent of her mother, Demeter.
Since the ancient Greeks were a civilization that worshipped gods and goddesses, their myths were filled to the brim with religious/spiritual symbolism. Immortals cannot die, therefore, the act of abduction may also be seen as a plot device to convey death and represent the afterlife. In the Underworld, Hades says to Persephone, “I shall be no unfitting husband for you among the deathless gods,” and that “while you are here, you shall rule all that lives and moves and shall have the greatest rights among the deathless gods.”
Ares, the god who represented everything the manosphere now markets as strength, lost the girl. Hades, the god who could hold dominion over the dead, give his beloved rights and power of her own, exhibit emotion through his gloom, AND hold a quiet appreciation for the feminine aspects of Persephone’s being, got the marriage that lasted.
I don’t think that’s a coincidence, and I don’t think the Greeks thought so either.
Greek culture held an idea that power and real gentleness can coexist. Tate’s view hinges on convincing men they can’t. Every emotion coded feminine gets treated as a leak in a man’s armor. Every act of care gets reframed as a transaction, something you perform to extract sex or loyalty. This is problematic, and in many ways, a regression of culture that I really believe can be stopped.
We’ve lost the plot. Or maybe more accurately, we keep losing the plot, but we also keep finding it again. The oldest surviving myths about love in the Western tradition already knew that the men worth loving were the ones who actually don’t shy away from softness. Hell, if Hades were a modern day figure, he’d def be going to therapy! Hah.
It may require the Tate brothers’ live extradition case to remind us why the manosphere’s primary viewpoint curdles. But regardless, we’re getting there.
Substack may have put a man facing 58 charges on its leaderboard. But, I’d rather build my readership on a 2,700 year old myth about a god who liked flowers, treated women with love and respect, and melded the masculine and feminine in his relationships.
Dive deeper into any of the topics above:
Author of Circe, Madeline Murray’s Myth of the Week: Persephone
Didi Aphra’s thoughtful Substack essay, Why Do We Romanticize Hades & Persephone’s Myth?
The Intelligence Squared Podcast: Inside Andrew Tate’s Manosphere, with Matt Shea and Jamie Tahsin
Jubilee Debate: 1 Anti-Manosphere vs 20 Manosphere (ft. Mark Manson) | Surrounded
The Observer’s claim that Andrew Tate ‘boosted his Substack profile with fake subscribers’
The NYC Creative Directory!
Last week, I attended Delia Cai’s Media Happy Hour at Public Records, where I got to meet her in the flesh (quite cool!!!). The event was a fantastic way to meet other writers and editors, and the sense of belonging and support radiating off of everybody in the room was worth the 40-minute Subway trek to Brooklyn. Delia was excited to see the QR code I created and made my screensaver — a tactic I’ve been using since last year to give people an easy way to find my writing when we meet at networking events:
clinamen, an aquatic and musical installation by Céleste Boursier-Mougenot, is showing at the Park Avenue Armory until August 9th. It’s immersive and said to feel as close to design as it does music. I’m hoping to see if before it closes.
Join Riley Daniel McGill’s Mail Club! Each month’s mail (sent to you by Riley himself) includes a hand stamped member card, a 5’7 print and a 4’6 postcard. His hand-written notes and illustrations are to die for! Bring back print media 2026.
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Last, but absolutely not least, daelyn and I are hosting an NYC Substack Meet-up in Central Park in a few weeks. Everyone who comes will print 20 paper copies of one favorite piece of their writing. At the park, we’ll pass our writings around and spend a few hours reading each others’ work. I think it’s going to be reaaaalllly fun and great for community building. <3 RSVP at the link here!
Okay friends — that’s all for this week,
<3 Delaney
This is such an important take Del… Maybe one of my favorites yet. The wares men are being sold by these toxic people are going to cause generational damage if not addressed like this!!
Delaney! I will share widely and re-read this one. Such an important subject and you handle it with strength and sound research. I hope this reaches not only your fans and followers but those who need it! Bravo