i took myself on a date
here’s why you should too
+Read to the end for my first ever reader survey. It’s just one question and will feed into a near-future post - please take the time to respond! <3
Hi lovely little over-thinkers!
Last week, I took myself on a solo date to a cake decorating class at RecCreate Collective in Brooklyn, the only club in NYC made solely for decorating and eating cake - right up my alley!
The catch? I didn’t think I’d be going alone. My friend had to cancel at the last minute, leaving me with a choice: step out of my comfort zone and spend a random Thursday evening alone in Brooklyn, or bail and retreat to my bed. For overthinkers like me, the uncertainty of an experience like this could have easily convinced me to stay home. My mind started to spiral: What if I look weird being there alone? What if I get stuck in an awkward conversation? What if this is a sign to just rest?
But then another thought emerged: What if this is a sign that I’m supposed to go alone? What if I’m meant to take myself on a date tonight?
Thankfully, I went with the latter.
I threw on a cute outfit, slicked on my shiny pink strawberry lip gloss, hopped in a taxi, and embraced the adventure. What unfolded was a night that unexpectedly filled my cup. One I wouldn’t have experienced if I'd let hesitation hold me back.
The Magic of Solitude
When I arrived at RecCreate Collective, I was immediately enveloped in its warm, inviting aura. The dark, industrial building housed a cozy, dimly lit studio tucked behind one of its doors. In the elevator, I struck up a conversation with a few other women attending the class. I mentioned I was there alone, and one of them casually responded, “Oh, I always do things like this alone.”
Her brazen confidence melted away my embarrassment. Why should I feel weird about doing something fun by myself? As soon as I walked in, I checked in with a big smile, inhaled the scent of cakes, fruits, and frosting, and felt a sense of belonging wash over me. It was as if some spiritual muse whispered, This is exactly where you need to be tonight.
I spotted another girl sitting alone and decided to sit beside her. Simrin’s warm, inviting energy made me feel welcome. Over the next two hours, we decorated cakes, laughed, and got delightfully messy with frosting. Any self-consciousness I had melted away. I didn’t even notice that my hands were covered in frosting or that my cake was hilariously lopsided. It was pure, uninhibited play, like tapping into my inner child.
What Taking Myself on a Date Really Meant
That night wasn’t just about cake. It was about breaking free from overthinking and fear. It was about choosing something bigger, brighter, and more fulfilling. It felt like a gentle nudge from a higher energy, guiding me toward joy.
By choosing to do something alone, I felt:
A deeper connection with my unfiltered self - unaffected by the expectations of others.
A sense of awe - stepping out of my comfort zone, I remembered how big the world is. It was like standing beneath the Eiffel Tower, marveling at the feats of human creation.
Creative flow through play - as a perfectionist, sometimes I forget how to just play - free from expectations. This helped me connect to my inner artist and let my creativity flow.
Mental clarity - without the noise of external influences, I created space for my own thoughts and intuition.
The Science of Solitude and Self-Discovery
This wasn’t just a feel-good moment—it aligns with research on the benefits of solitude.
Dr. Joe Dispenza explains that when we’re constantly surrounded by others, our brains operate in a more limited state, seeing the world through the lens of those around us. However, after just three weeks of practicing intentional solitude—not loneliness, but conscious, aware solitude—our brain waves change significantly. That constant mental chatter slows down.
Even more fascinating? In this state, the brain releases sustainable levels of GABA and serotonin—chemicals linked to contentment and peace—rather than chasing the dopamine rush of external validation.
Taking yourself on a date, especially as a regular practice, can cultivate this same effect. It’s a form of sustained consciousness—a way to reconnect with yourself without distraction.
While this piece isn’t about meditation – I argue that taking yourself on a date, and ideally, doing it regularly, is in itself a form of meditation, and it has the power to grant you the same effects as sustained conscious solitude.
The Artist’s Date
Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, coined these solo adventures the “Artist’s Date.” Cameron tasks her readers to take themselves somewhere inspiring, completely alone, once a week. Whether it’s a museum, a waterfront walk, or sketching in a café, it’s an intentional act of creative replenishment.
According to Cameron:
“Artist dates teach us how to cherish and enjoy solitude rather than fear and avoid it. As we pause to take in the beauty of the world, we take in our own beauty as well.”
“The world is a rich and variable place, simply “throbbing with life,” in Henry Miller’s phrase. As we allow ourselves to taste its many fruits, our own work becomes more rich and more varied. As we nurture our own roots, we become more fruitful.”
But, the thing about artist dates is that they don’t have to involve making art. An artist date can mean going swimming at your local pool, laying in the grass at a park and bringing chocolate covered strawberries for yourself, or going to the Opera. As long as you’re making small adventures a habit - and doing so in solitude - you’re helping change your neural pathways to welcome “aloneness” without getting lonely.
My Takeaway + Your Homework
It’s safe to say that by the time I got home from my solo date, I felt light, confident, and creatively recharged. Most importantly, I felt inspired. And yes – the cake was delicious.
So, my fellow over-thinkers, I challenge you: take yourself on a date. Embrace the uncertainty. See where it leads you. You might find exactly what you didn’t know you needed.
The Over-thinkers’ Survey
If you've made it this far, take 2 minutes to answer the quick, anonymous survey below! Your input will help shape an upcoming piece I’m writing about navigating adulthood—I'd truly appreciate it!
<3 Delaney
I recently went out to eat alone for the first time, I was so anxious about being judged. It turned out to be an amazing experience (and not a single person looked at me)!
A lot of people that I know cannot be alone. It’s really because they can’t be alone with their own thoughts. Getting to a place where you are comfortable being alone has huge benefits - more calmness, thoughtfulness, etc. it’s a necessary reset.